Montessori Philosophy on Praising Children

Montessori educators distinguish sharply between praise, which they see as an external reward or judgment, and encouragement or descriptive feedback, which supports a child’s own sense of achievement. Below is a “deep dive” into how and why they discourage conventional praise—and what they do instead.


1. Praise as External Control

  • Why it’s discouraged
  • Shifts motivation outward. Praise (“Good girl!”) makes children look to adults for approval rather than listening to their own inner satisfaction.
  • Creates dependency. Kids learn to do things “for the praise,” not because they find the work meaningful.
  • Invites comparison. Subtle or overt comparison to peers can foster competition or feelings of inferiority.

“Praise does not help the child; it helps the teacher to feel good.”
—Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind


2. Emphasis on Intrinsic Motivation

  • Control of error
    Montessori materials are designed so that children can see for themselves whether they’ve made a mistake (e.g. puzzle pieces that only fit one way, bead stair that only balances when ordered correctly).

  • Self-correction → self-evaluation. The child checks their own work and gains internal satisfaction.

  • Work as its own reward
    Tasks are appealing by design—pleasant tactile materials, a clear beginning and end, a sense of order. Success comes from finishing the work, not from a stamp or a “well done.”


3. Encouragement & Descriptive Feedback

Rather than “You’re so smart,” a Montessori guide might say:

  • “I notice you concentrated for a long time on that puzzle.”
  • “You arranged all the color tablets very carefully.”
    These statements:
  • Acknowledge effort or strategy, reinforcing the child’s own understanding of what they did.
  • Avoid labeling (smart, good, clever), which implies a fixed trait.

4. Respecting the Child’s Personhood

Montessori philosophy centers on respect for the child as an autonomous individual. Over-praise can feel manipulative or patronizing. By treating children as capable partners in the learning process, guides:

  • Listen more often than they speak.
  • Offer choices rather than commands.
  • Observe quietly and intervene only to guide or extend exploration.

5. Nuances & Modern Practice

  • Not anti-positive: It’s not that Montessori teachers never celebrate success. They simply do it by inviting reflection, “You worked really hard—how do you feel about finishing that?”
  • Gradual release: With very young children (2–3 years), simple affirmations (“You did it!”) may be used sparingly to build confidence, but are phased out as self-evaluation grows.
  • Praise effort, not person: If praise is used, it’s directed at the process—effort, strategy, persistence—not at innate qualities (“You kept trying even when it got hard”).

6. Why It Matters

  • Builds true self-esteem. Children learn to trust their own judgment rather than seeking adult approval.
  • Encourages risk-taking. When mistakes aren’t “bad,” kids feel safe to explore and innovate.
  • Fosters lifelong learners. The joy comes from discovery itself, laying the foundation for independent learning long after the classroom.

In sum, Montessori isn’t about never saying anything positive—rather, it’s about how you say it. The goal is to nurture an internal compass of satisfaction and pride in the work itself, rather than to train children to perform for applause.