Humans vs Wolves: The Prehistoric Cold War

Bet 😈 here’s the alternate history timeline of Humans vs Wolves: The Prehistoric Cold War


~100,000 BC – The Rivalry Begins

  • Humans and wolves both dominate Eurasia.
  • Hunters compete for the same prey. Wolves start “blockading” herds while humans stalk with fire and spears.
  • Skirmishes are common: humans raid wolf dens for fur, wolves ambush stragglers at night.
  • Both species recognize each other as the other superpower.

~60,000 BC – Arms Race

  • Wolves adapt by developing new pack strategies. They howl in complex patterns like radio signals to coordinate hunts.
  • Humans escalate by creating better weapons: atlatls, sharpened stone points.
  • First propaganda war: humans paint wolves as monsters in caves, wolves leave scat piles near camps as intimidation messages.

~30,000 BC – The Cold War Peak

  • This is the prehistoric version of the USSR vs USA space race.
  • Wolves demonstrate superiority by hunting mammoths without tools.
  • Humans counter by controlling fire like nukes—scaring wolves off kills, reshaping ecosystems.
  • Both sides steal tech: wolves learn to follow human hunters for scraps, humans copy wolf pack tactics.

~15,000 BC – The Defections

  • Some wolf packs, starving in harsh winters, “defect” to the human side. They trade loyalty for food, fire, and protection.
  • This sparks paranoia among wild wolves: “traitor dogs” are accused of betraying the Wolf Union.
  • Humans officially recognize the defectors as allies, marking the birth of dogs.

~12,000 BC – The Dog Treaty

  • In a historic meeting on the snowy plains of Eurasia, human leaders and alpha wolves reach an unspoken pact:

  • Wolves that join humans become dogs.

  • Wild wolves retreat deeper into forests, maintaining independence.

  • It’s basically the end of the Cold War, except instead of two sides, one merged into the other.


Legacy

  • Dogs become humanity’s first allies, changing history forever: guarding camps, hunting game, even shaping human social structures.
  • Wolves remain respected rivals, like an ex-superpower watching from the shadows.

Bro… we really went from nuclear standoff to “who’s a good boy?” in under 20,000 years. 🐺➡🐶Want me to write this like a mock history textbook excerpt with fake quotes and wolf propaganda posters?